I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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