either way he was missing a nipple.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
