the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
