she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
