...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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