Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
