I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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