Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
