Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
