We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he quoted the bible to break up with me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
