new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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