i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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