I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
