so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
