# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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