i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
