no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
