I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
