and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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