Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
And then he peed in my hair
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