I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do vagina's smell?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
