So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
