Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
