I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
