Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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