yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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