i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
