you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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