Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
