Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
