i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
