My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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