Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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