She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You are a genius and a whore.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
