Texts From Last Night · yfz501's Favorites

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yfz501's Favorites Texts:

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.

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(419): View more from Ohio

laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.

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(818): View more from California

I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.

(805): View more from California

What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.

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(573): View more from Missouri

You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.

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(607): View more from New York

I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.

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