Texts From Last Night · bjd479's Favorites

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bjd479's Favorites Texts:

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.

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(361): View more from Texas

Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?

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(314): View more from Missouri

I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."

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(619): View more from California

Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head

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(480): View more from Arizona

You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.

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(206): View more from Washington

the night ended with taco bell and tears

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