I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
