i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
