The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
