Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
