Your tits are I can't wait for
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
