How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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