i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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