What did we do last night that was yellow?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
