"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
