I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
