her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
