Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Boobs speak an international language.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
