The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
