FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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